Counselling for autistic adults

Why more adults are being diagnosed

Not so long ago, it was thought that four times as many males as females were autistic. Research now suggests the true ratio is closer to three to one, and that many girls and women have simply been missed. More women are now being diagnosed as adults. Many masked their difficulties growing up and imitated others to fit in. You may not even realise you have been masking all this time, because it has become second nature.

What autism can feel like

Autistic people often find social interaction, social communication and emotional regulation harder, and many also have sensory needs, so certain sounds, lighting and textures can be difficult. Autistic people also tend to experience higher levels of anxiety because of these social and sensory needs. A liking for sameness and routine is common, as predictability helps to ease stress and anxiety. The pattern of differences is unique to each person.

Maybe you find social interaction really draining, and small talk is a nightmare. Maybe just commuting, with busy station platforms, bright lights, noise and the hustle of other people, overwhelms your senses and leaves you anxious before you even get to work. Maybe you struggle to read social situations, or agonise over what others mean by their body language or tone of voice. Perhaps you often feel you’ve said the wrong thing at the wrong time, and worry about saying anything at all. Perhaps you see things in black and white, with a strong sense of right and wrong, and struggle with the grey areas in between.

Trying to fit into a neurotypical world can be draining, and can leave you feeling that you don’t belong, or that you’re on the outside looking in. Clients often tell me they have felt different all their lives, or that making sense of social rules and norms is a constant source of confusion. They have felt a need to hide their authentic selves for fear of being judged and rejected. Some grew up with parents who did not see or understand their needs.

How counselling can help

Therapy can provide a safe, non-judgemental space to explore these worries and difficult feelings at your own pace, and to find a way to live as an autistic person without shame or fear of rejection.

Therapy can help you accept yourself first, so that others can accept you as well. It can also help you find strategies and ways of coping that make life a little easier as your anxiety reduces.