What Is Therapy Like?
A short analogy that captures what the therapeutic process actually feels like—the mess, the sorting, and the lighter suitcase at the end.
Therapy is like opening a large, extremely heavy old suitcase that's been shut for a long time. From the outside, everything might look fine when it's all zipped up and tucked away in a cupboard, but when you open it, it's crammed, messy and disorganised - full of things that have been shoved in and often forgotten about over the years.
When you begin the therapeutic process, you take everything out the suitcase until suddenly the room is a mess- clothes everywhere, items that don't fit or are of no use anymore, things that carry memories or strong emotions like shame, grief or confusion.
It can feel overwhelming, messy and chaotic but what's happening is you're seeing things more clearly and with greater perspective. You are starting to face and process things that you have avoided or buried, and you are starting to make greater sense of your past.
Then comes the work of deciding which items from the suitcase are worth holding on to and which items to let go. Maybe some things no longer fit the person you are today. Perhaps some values have changed over time. There may be old beliefs and coping strategies that do not serve you anymore. Perhaps there are inner voices that tell you unkind things about yourself. It could be time to let go of some of these. And then there might be items to keep, or items to repair or reframe instead of discarding them completely.
You are learning how to organise things in a way that works for your life as it is now. Eventually, the suitcase gets packed up again but this time in a more orderly and manageable way. There is intention about what you have chosen to keep, and it feels lighter to carry.
In other words, therapy can get messier before it gets clearer, not because it is harmful, but because avoidance is slowly being replaced with awareness. It is a process but one you will be guided through every step of the way.
About the author
Nadia Wilkinson is a BACP registered counsellor (Member No. 394901) and HCPC registered Educational Psychologist offering online counselling to adults across the UK. She specialises in anxiety, ADHD, autism, trauma, and emotional wellbeing.